Dating a girl with an eating disorder
thinking something was so important then, then finding out later that it almost meant nothing".that an eating disorder is essentially a bad relationship with one's self.As a result of these changes in the brain, people who have given up their primary coping skill (an eating disorder or addiction, for example) may be left looking for another way to feel good.Unless they remain focused on their recovery program and draw on the skills they learned in treatment, they may find an addictive outlet for that high, whether through drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships, food, or some other compulsive behavior.
"She could see I'd lost weight and knew she couldn't say to me, 'oh gee, you need to eat more' because if she did, all it would do is spur me on as a confirmation that what I was doing was working." The eating disorder caused issues for James and his girlfriend, he completely lost his sex drive, and they ended up breaking up.
Early recovery is emotionally volatile; add in the additional ups and downs of a romantic relationship and you’ve got a recipe for relapse.
In the vulnerable early stages of recovery, there is an increased risk of cross-addictions, one of which may be the “high” of romance, sex, and relationships.
"People with eating disorders are not kind to themselves, they don't like themselves and they're not forgiving towards themselves," Dr Buchanan said.
"There's that saying that you can't let someone else love you unless you love yourself first, and I think that's sort of applicable here in that if someone doesn't really like themselves, then having someone else in a dating relationship and have someone say they really like them is going to be really triggering.
Although people don’t always heed the warning, this is smart advice, not only because a relationship diverts attention from recovery but also because it takes the brain at least a year or two to return to normal functioning.